This Christmas

This Christmas I spent it with people I never thought I could be friends with. I had fun, I had company and I had a very full day, just the way I like it. Maybe I should stop trying to predict how my day will go and just keep going forward and forget about what should be, what isnt. I realised that life is like people it cant be controlled, the more you squeeze your fingers, the more it pains. So let it flow, that is what life is, its alive and it has a mind of its own. You just need to love whatever comes at you and be happy you are with life.

Merry Christmas 

To put it honestly

I dont know what to do with bluntly honest people. The kind that tell you, you have put on weight, your hair is falling, you look 29 (comfortably!!!!!!) when I am 27. On the one hand you have got to thank them, because I tend to go blind for a while and think I look awesome. I have the opposite of body dysmorphia  when I look in the mirror I see someone slimmer, nice hair and even pretty!!!!!!. So I do admit I need a reality check, but on the other hand, it could be done a little softly, a little smoothly. But can bad news every be delivered nicely. Is there a nice way to get fired, to get dumped. There isnt so I guess, I should accept it and do damage control on myself. But it still hurts. 

Being alone isn't easy

I am not one of those people who has an active social life, more appropriately i am not one of those people who has a social life. So for me being alone is tough. It gets easier when I go home. But this time it wasn't that easy, as people at home are unhappy too. But it was still better than being alone. I noticed a funny thing about people, they will not ask you to go with them to see a movie, even though they need company, the very act of asking for company seems to be hard. I also end-up seeing movies alone most of the time, I don't mind it because when I am in the hall and the lights are off, all I am focusing on is on the movie and nobody really notices in the darkness. But i generally try a little to ask for company, I almost all the time get turned down, but its ok, because A) i am use to it and B) because I only ask females (my kind). So this time this poor soul who I started to talk to properly only a week ago, made the solid mistake of saying we could watch movies together. Little did she know, I would take her up on the offer three days later. But this time when I asked, lets go see this movie, I asked her and this other female when we three were going home from work. And this time, they agreed! to my shock. But I am so use to people changing their plans on me, I was mentally prepared that they will forget about it as the weekend came. So I asked a bit a day before the weekend, got a luke warm response and thought here we go again! But then something amazing happened, at least for me it was. I for the first time saw enthusiasm on the other side, they were fixing the day, the time, the hall :). So I guess for this time at least, I am happy I tried. Then I came to know that they too had problem finding company for stuff like movies and plays. Here I am asking people for company and these idiots agree to open up to me now!!!!

I know what you must me thinking, that these sort of things shouldn't matter when you are almost going to hit your thirties! I agree, it shouldn't be this hard, but it is and its not just for me. I wish people were a bit more open, a bit more ready to get turned down, to show how their lives really were. Instead of saying, "I am good yaar". Because I am not and I don't what to pretend that I am. I am not happy with my current situation, I hope my life will change ( or as my friend would say, do something to change it).