Malware

Sounds hi-tech no? then what is it doing on this blog... u say? Well I will tell you. Yesterday some female on the phone called she said we need donation for a 5yr old child who needs heart surgery and whose mother has also died! So I said how does one go about donating? This female said are you on the computer, it will only take few mins. That is when my red flag warning went up. So I said no I am not sitting in front of the computer (lie) but tell me the website address. She sms me the address. I opened the website : Projectrit.org . The moment you hit the donate button, a malware gets downloaded called system security antivirus. it pretends to be this authentic anivirus, which says your system has been infected. Multiple boxes open up saying virus bla bla. Then it says click here to fix and then it tries to make you buy it!!! I already had Mcafee.. I am mean what the hell. My four ventricle organ (my heart!!) starts racing and I switch the power off. then I put it on and run a full system scan using the Mcafee. bloody thing says all ok. I say my foot!  I google, and I find this blog which gives step by step instructions. U end up downloading three antivirus programmes. Words like Kill programme, antimalware and  hitman dominate your mind. I still don't know if I am free of that programme and I am too scared to use it for online payments. So my 4 year old laptop shall be used. But my computer is acting a bit odd... not sure it its fully fine yet.

Website: http://malwaretips.com/blogs/remove-system-care-antivirus-virus/

Detachment logic

I had an office colleague who told me about detachment. Back then I remember looking at her and thinking this is nuts... I mean what is the point of going through life if you don't feel your emotions. I never understood it then. I remember saying how can you be detached from your mother. She said, "detachment doesn't mean you cant love her... just be detached". I never got it then. Now after my mother died, I realised its value, death is the ultimate form of detachment. The very fact that I can survive without my mother, is detachment. I realise now what detachment means, you can love someone but always know you will be ok without them. We are all, one complete person from birth to death, we don't need anything spectacular to happen to us, to become complete. Detachment is the best survival mechanism, sick people use it to survive by not getting attached to their bodies, which are failing them. People coming out of bad relationships, use detachment to move on. In misery its easy to be detached, because your present is so depressing, so is your past and the imagined future. Its difficult to attach yourself to anything during bad times, which kind of helps one to get a bigger picture. You are presented with do or die options and you have to choose the do option.

The trick is to be detached when things are going well, not to get attached to your job when you are doing well, not to become one with the person you just newly fell in love with. Because if you can achieve that all it means is that you are not diving in head first, you are ensuring your survival. Have you ever noticed when you read about suicides, they always describe the victims as full of life and high spirited. Maybe feeling every emotion too deeply is putting yourself in danger because life seems to be a process of purging. Every life crisis is about losing some attachment, be it loss of money, family, health etc. You name it, we all do and will go though it. Why we are subjected to it, I don't know. Why this miracle of life is this painful series of purging, I don't know.

My mind

I am not sure if this happens to you, but I tend to visualise things when people speak to me... sometimes only. I remember my boss once saying to me during my review, "this more than a job for you". To which I was horrified.... because I had no clue. I immediately started imagining an ad for the Indian Army and I saw a soldier saluting the flag on top of a rocky hill... with trumpets playing. Recently my boss said, "you are good, you will be ready to hit the floor quickly". This basically means that I have been in the same organization for donkey ages now... so I will need very little training and can start immediately in my new team. To this my mind visualized someone grabbing my neck and banging my head to the floor.

When these visualisations occur, I go silent usually because I am between shock and a trying to control a smile. And then I continue to be silent as I missed my moment to speak and hence remain silent for an eternity. :)

Inferno

So I have been in Florence for the past two weeks and I am currently on a train ride to Venice. I am currently travelling with world famous Harvard professor Langdon and I am on a mission to catch a madman before he unleashes the biblical plague on mankind. How am I doing all this, when A) its a Tuesday and I am supposed to be staring at my office screen. B) I don't have money to go to Florence or Venice or anyplace outside India apart from Thailand. So how you ask? Well I am reading Dan Brown's latest book - Inferno and its damn good I say. Its very much like Da Vinci code, its about finding meaning in ancient symbols. But Da Vinci had lots of information thrown at you. I remember I had to read some pages twice just to remember stuff, Inferno is simpler, easier to follow. It still tells you a lot about Florence and the city's beautiful monuments, most whose names I cant remember. The difference between the two books is that after Da Vinci, I felt like a bloody genius, I really did. While reading inferno I feel like a well informed historian, like one of those cool people who know something about every topic. The ones who go like, "Did you know that...". I am no book reader, but a movie lover instead. But I know one thing, a well written book can take you places, where a beautifully created movie never can.

 

My attempt - Torcettini

I tried to make these Italian biscuits over the weekend for two reasons, so that the weekend passes by and so that I don't think about Monday. The plan worked.... but as for the exotic torcettini, well as this is my blog you will not be flooded with images which are TLC type. You know the perfect white plate on top which golden brown biscuits are present :). Instead you will find this: pale white biscuits despite 25 mins more of baking time. But they taste good. For the recipe see spicy chilli.

 

Is it like this for you too??

Do you ever get the feeling that you are taking your company (that you work for ... not own because that would lead to bankruptcy) for a ride or that you are being paid to just sit in office. Paid well I might add. Is this the normal feeling... the more you study the cushier your job is. On top of that, I have been pushing for a change in profile, why am I doing that when I clearly have not interest in this line. Why am I pushing for things that don't interest me. Well I have a bit of perspective on this, the profile I am pushing for currently had come up two years back also and I didn't apply, because I thought I am not interested in this line, why bother. Then a number of my office colleagues came up to me and said, "what is wrong with you, how could you let this opportunity go?". And I told myself, no point for trying something you know you will get bored off or worse will not be able to excel in. But that strategy did not pay off as in my current profile, things turned for the worse. I missed up work and got nicely blown to bits. Then I was able to turn it around and get my act together and this opportunity came again. Again I felt now I should try, so that no one can say I didn't. But then something inside of me is a bit scared, maybe its because its a change (a very small change) and I am generally scared of change. but I needed to do something, anything. I couldn't continue meandering. my life had seemed to plateaued and I thought I must push. But I do agree its easier to live life doing something you love, rather than something you manage doing.

Most wise people say focus on the present, as that is all you have. Its still difficult thing for me to do, but I am getting better at it. I realised during bad times, when the idea of the future is terrifying, living in the present gets better. Right now my life is not plateaued, it is either on an incline upwards or steep fall downwards.

By the way do let me know if you feel your jobs are a sham? whoever reads this blog, let me know.

Marriage

Getting married, not married yet, staying married!!!! so much pressure and all for what. Why is it that mothers think that getting married is more important than "who" are you getting married to! How does marriage guarantee anything. Does it guarantee protection - NO, most rapes are done by monsters known to the victim. Does it guarantee lifetime of companionship - NO, get diagnosed with a horrible disease and see you better half disappearing. Does it guarantee no more loneliness - NO, people can feel lonely in a crowd and not feel lonely when they are alone by themselves. What does marriage guarantee: good times when things are going smoothly - Maybe, but then what is a point. What is a point of seeing your kid as a failure based on a future event which may or may not result in happiness. What is the point. And pray please tell me, when the hell did being independent and self sufficient become a bad thing!