This Christmas

This Christmas I spent it with people I never thought I could be friends with. I had fun, I had company and I had a very full day, just the way I like it. Maybe I should stop trying to predict how my day will go and just keep going forward and forget about what should be, what isnt. I realised that life is like people it cant be controlled, the more you squeeze your fingers, the more it pains. So let it flow, that is what life is, its alive and it has a mind of its own. You just need to love whatever comes at you and be happy you are with life.

Merry Christmas 

To put it honestly

I dont know what to do with bluntly honest people. The kind that tell you, you have put on weight, your hair is falling, you look 29 (comfortably!!!!!!) when I am 27. On the one hand you have got to thank them, because I tend to go blind for a while and think I look awesome. I have the opposite of body dysmorphia  when I look in the mirror I see someone slimmer, nice hair and even pretty!!!!!!. So I do admit I need a reality check, but on the other hand, it could be done a little softly, a little smoothly. But can bad news every be delivered nicely. Is there a nice way to get fired, to get dumped. There isnt so I guess, I should accept it and do damage control on myself. But it still hurts. 

Being alone isn't easy

I am not one of those people who has an active social life, more appropriately i am not one of those people who has a social life. So for me being alone is tough. It gets easier when I go home. But this time it wasn't that easy, as people at home are unhappy too. But it was still better than being alone. I noticed a funny thing about people, they will not ask you to go with them to see a movie, even though they need company, the very act of asking for company seems to be hard. I also end-up seeing movies alone most of the time, I don't mind it because when I am in the hall and the lights are off, all I am focusing on is on the movie and nobody really notices in the darkness. But i generally try a little to ask for company, I almost all the time get turned down, but its ok, because A) i am use to it and B) because I only ask females (my kind). So this time this poor soul who I started to talk to properly only a week ago, made the solid mistake of saying we could watch movies together. Little did she know, I would take her up on the offer three days later. But this time when I asked, lets go see this movie, I asked her and this other female when we three were going home from work. And this time, they agreed! to my shock. But I am so use to people changing their plans on me, I was mentally prepared that they will forget about it as the weekend came. So I asked a bit a day before the weekend, got a luke warm response and thought here we go again! But then something amazing happened, at least for me it was. I for the first time saw enthusiasm on the other side, they were fixing the day, the time, the hall :). So I guess for this time at least, I am happy I tried. Then I came to know that they too had problem finding company for stuff like movies and plays. Here I am asking people for company and these idiots agree to open up to me now!!!!

I know what you must me thinking, that these sort of things shouldn't matter when you are almost going to hit your thirties! I agree, it shouldn't be this hard, but it is and its not just for me. I wish people were a bit more open, a bit more ready to get turned down, to show how their lives really were. Instead of saying, "I am good yaar". Because I am not and I don't what to pretend that I am. I am not happy with my current situation, I hope my life will change ( or as my friend would say, do something to change it). 

Wicked witch of Mecloud

A long long time ago, back in the times of golden chariots and kings and queens. When there were kingdoms not countries, lived a wicked witch. People lived in fear of this witch, no one knew where she lived. She would just appear in the town dressed as a fruit seller or what have you. Everyone had to be careful when outside of their homes, you never knew if the person you were talking to was basket case or the wicked witch. I remember hearing from jimmy me old pal down at the pub, that a man was fighting with his wife at the pub, he thought she was his wifey and was giving her a peace of his mind. Than suddenly there would be a puff of smoke and the man lost his deep thick voice. A voice every man dreams of having, helps with the ladies if you know what I mean. Instead the poor old sod has a thin squeaky voice, the high nasally one, if you know what I mean. Since then the people of mecloud had to be civil with anyone they talked to. Kind of a benefit if you ask me. But the town was fed up, if you know what I mean. You need to lose your steams once in awhile, imagine not been able to blow up your tailor for uneven pants! Gets my blood boiling if you know what I mean.

Then what happened uncle ?

Hold on to your pants, matty, the story is just beginning, where did I keep those blasted tea leaves. Oh there it is. Coming back then, the king finally decided to do something about it, not a day too soon if you ask me. He decided to call his council of sorcerers, a scary bunch known as the devils own, a nickname given by the towns people. But to the king's surprise, the devils own seem to have their knickers in a bunch. First they said it was inauspicious to launch an attack on any magical being during the month of the solar solstice. The king knew this was a bunch of hog wash.

From my garden

Light and shade

Light streaming through tangled palm leaves

No idea what flower this is

One in focus and one out of focus

This plant gives those beautiful white fragrant flowers that Indian women put in their hair (gajra)

This is a very photogenic plant in my opinion and for some reason reminds me of snow covered Russian forests. It called a silver something, I cant remember.

Conversations

Let me introduce you to my parents:

Conversation with my dad a day before I come home for one week:

Dad: "Where are you?"

Me: "Going to the mall to buy Pork sausages"

Dad: "I assume those are for me"   (doubtful but still hopeful low tone)

Me: "Yes they are"

Dad: "I bought chicken sausages for you" (high tone)

Conversation with my mother:

Ma: "You should prepare for GMAT, join an online course"

Ma: "You should do that six month copywriters course"

Ma: "You should learn to cook, that is how you will get married"

But I was happier when I was with them, much more happier than I am now.

Facebook

I temporarily deactivated my Facebook a couple of weeks back. This is not the first time, this is the third time I have deactivated it. But this is the first time I am free from the need to check Facebook, Check who is doing what, who is saying what, who is looking beautiful, who is looking worse. End of all the nonsense. In the olden days, if I wanted to gossip, I would seek that information, for which I needed to talk to another human being. But now all I need to do is checkout someones page where they put up pictures of what they did, where they went, with who. Personal moments became public moments, validated by 100s of likes. You don't even need to talk to another person. Every time I checked my mail, Facebook said I missed some happening story, every time I logged in, it asked me what's on my mind. The funniest part is every time you deactivate your account, Facebook asks you why and suggests a website that will help you. A website to help you deal with your problem of spending too much time on Facebook. It tells you five randomly chosen people who will miss you. Sometimes it will choose someone I liked in the past and I use to wonder, does Facebook know. Sometimes I didn't really care for those five people who will miss me. I now have the phone numbers of the people I want to keep in touch with and who will hopefully miss me when I am really gone. Today, at this very moment I felt less cluttered, more in control of the information I was getting about someone, more in control of the information I was letting out about me. My mind is at ease, I don't know what is happening in other peoples lives, I don't want to know. My own life is hard enough. I do agree it is a great site to keep in touch and reconnect with people in your past, but I don't really think we where were meant to know so much more about that person's life. Everyone's life, doesn't matter how boring, is a personal journey, what is happening in someone's else's journey really shouldn't be a part of our own. Its like driving on the road, you were not meant to keep an eye on what is happening on a parallel road, you will crash otherwise.