Last week another one of my friends left mumbai, I am kind of getting use to this isolation. It has been a recurring theme for the last four odd years! I wonder why, but even after four years of wondering, I am no closer to an answer. But this time I have decided not to reach out of my shell, I will stay firmly with in it. Take all my introvertedness and wrap it around me. No more making new friends, Just trying to keep in touch with the old ones. Keep to myself, putting less effort to make people like me. Doing the opposite of what is advised and what I generally do.
This time I will stick to people who get me and let the people who don't, let them be. I try to stay positive and keep asking my team for more work and keep myself busy. Somehow I feel good when I have a lot of work, I feel useless when I have none. Maybe that makes me a workaholic but I feel more balanced when I have something to do, to take up the time that I seem to have. People say life is short, But for me I feel the gift of time is going wasted. I waste my days like a rich spoiled kid wastes his dad's money. Let see if this works. I have also come up with new philosophy if I foresee an uncomfortable situation, I will save myself the misery, I will make my life easier and avoid it. I was the kind that took the uncomfortable situation head on, but no more, I embrace the shell philosophy, at least for now. Give myself a break. I am also going to go a little easy on the self criticism, as I noticed that other people see it as a permission to criticize me.
There are situations while you are in it you know its not a big deal, you know you will look back at it with a light heart. But while you are in it you cant help yourself, you cant help but take it seriously. It is like when you trying something for the first time, you are fully focused on it but then after a point of time it becomes a habit. Right now my full focus is on it and I know I will laugh after a few years (let up hope it is just a few), but right now I will let myself focus on the situation fully and do everything in my control to make it easy for me. No more grin and bear it, no more pretend happy, no more. From now on I run, run from the situation. When I feel up to it, I will grin and bear it, but for now I leave the grinning to other people.
Beautiful song by outlandish - walou (the word apparently mean nothing)
This time I will stick to people who get me and let the people who don't, let them be. I try to stay positive and keep asking my team for more work and keep myself busy. Somehow I feel good when I have a lot of work, I feel useless when I have none. Maybe that makes me a workaholic but I feel more balanced when I have something to do, to take up the time that I seem to have. People say life is short, But for me I feel the gift of time is going wasted. I waste my days like a rich spoiled kid wastes his dad's money. Let see if this works. I have also come up with new philosophy if I foresee an uncomfortable situation, I will save myself the misery, I will make my life easier and avoid it. I was the kind that took the uncomfortable situation head on, but no more, I embrace the shell philosophy, at least for now. Give myself a break. I am also going to go a little easy on the self criticism, as I noticed that other people see it as a permission to criticize me.
There are situations while you are in it you know its not a big deal, you know you will look back at it with a light heart. But while you are in it you cant help yourself, you cant help but take it seriously. It is like when you trying something for the first time, you are fully focused on it but then after a point of time it becomes a habit. Right now my full focus is on it and I know I will laugh after a few years (let up hope it is just a few), but right now I will let myself focus on the situation fully and do everything in my control to make it easy for me. No more grin and bear it, no more pretend happy, no more. From now on I run, run from the situation. When I feel up to it, I will grin and bear it, but for now I leave the grinning to other people.
Beautiful song by outlandish - walou (the word apparently mean nothing)
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